#pantstochurch... #reproritize

It's not often I involve myself in overly political conversations. In fact, I avoid them at almost all costs. I don't like the idea of pushing one's opinions on another - even if I have the "correct" opinion. However, I am moved to share one of my opinions with you. I was browsing Instagram searching the hashtag "#imamormon". I came across a picture of a family's legs sitting in the pew at church. Dad was wearing black pants and shoes, baby girl was wearing silver sparkly pants and black shoes, and mom was wearing black dress pants and dress shoes. It didn't even pop up on my radar that this was a "statement" photo until the second time I read the caption: "I want more opportunities at church for my daughter and for myself. #pantstochurch #imamormon"

What? What in the DEVIL are you talking about woman?!?! What opportunities are you NOT afforded at our church??? Like the genius I am I select the hashtag "#pantstochurch" and start browsing... and I've never been so dumbfounded in my life.

I've heard of the movement for Mormon women to wear pants to church and potentially be given the Priesthood; I've never given it too much thought, other than it sounds crazy. Guess what. I WAS RIGHT!

As I sat there browsing picture after picture of women wearing pants to church and read comment after comment saying: "way to go" and "stand up for yourself" and "prove a point" and "break from tradition" and even one woman who said wearing pants to church was "fulfilling my childhood dream" I was astounded. Are you freaking kidding me?! If wearing pants to church is the childhood dream you've been waiting all of these years to fulfill you must have been one boring and sheltered child!! I also liked the girl who said she wore pants "in a sign of solidarity and sisterhood". Seriously. These women are serious. And again, I repeat, crazy.

I want to yell at each of them, "WHO CARES?!" No one ever said we weren't allowed to wear pants at church. Yes, we do wear "Sunday Dress" and our church defines it for women as modest dresses and skirts. But no where in our handbook or guidelines or interview for the temple are we told to wear skirts or repent. Nowhere are we asked to not partake of the sacrament if we are wearing pants. Or pajamas. Or dirty clothes. Or bathing suits. Or nothing at all. All that is asked of us is that we show respect and we wear our best. If your best is a pair of overalls with a hoodie or a pair of dress pants with flip flops Heavenly Father loves you the same. Does our religious tradition have women wearing dresses and skirts to church? Yes. Do the majority of us wear dresses and skirts? Yes. Are there going to be judgmental people who think you're nuts for wearing pants? Probably. The people aren't perfect. Hence why we are at church to begin with.

So what are you accomplishing besides attracting unnecessary attention to yourself with your #pantstochurch? Nothing. And what opportunities are you not afforded in our church? Women are teachers and leaders, they participate and lead temple ceremonies, they speak in sacrament meetings and General Conference. We as women are NOT missing out on anything. Maybe women can't be Bishops or the President of our church? But only a handful of men even receive those callings - and the ones who don't aren't upset about it. We get to preach to others, share the Gospel as a Missionary, and be a Disciple of Christ. So I don't get it. What opportunities will you and your daughter not receive that is necessary for your salvation? Heavenly Father wants one thing for us - to live this life on Earth worthily so we can return to Heaven and live eternally with Him. WOMEN CAN DO THAT WITHOUT THE PRIESTHOOD! They can do it in skirts, dresses, pants, bathing suits, etc. All it requires is that we come unto Him with a humble heart and contrite spirit.

I guess what it all boils down to is these women have their priorities wrong. If you're going to attend a sacrament meeting what you wear should be your best. It should be a reflection of you and your love for your Heavenly Father. When you attend sacrament meeting you are given the opportunity to partake of the most precious ordinance in our church - renewing your baptismal covenants to be forgiven for your sins. If you're coming to church so you can wear #pantstochurch then your focus as you're getting ready, walking in the building, and sitting in the congregation cannot be the Atonement for your sins. We should not use church as an venue for proving our points. Instead we should use the church as a venue for feeling the spirit, learning, and coming closer to our Savior and our Heavenly Father.

And to the sister who said wearing pants is "a sign of solidarity and sisterhood" - what sisterhood? Don't pawn this off as one representing our church. Because wearing pants vs. not wearing pants doesn't represent our church. The Book of Mormon, The Holy Ghost, service, love, compassion, The Priesthood, faith, and worship all represent our church... not your desire to stand out and be different because of what YOU are wearing or how YOU are feeling, or how badly YOU think YOU need or deserve the Priesthood.

Heavenly Father loves you. Not your clothing. He asks that we wear modest clothing as a sign of respect for our bodies. But he never said we must wear a dress to church or be condemned. If you don't have a dress then wear your best. If you don't want to wear a dress, fine. Quit making a big deal about it. You're distracting from the Spirit. You're attracting unnecessary attention to your personal feelings about a political issue. When really, we should be focusing all of our attention to spiritual matters that bring us closer to our
Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. You wearing pants isn't changing the view of others around you, I repeat, it is only distracting from the Spirit.

And so what if YOU think YOU deserve the Priesthood. When Heavenly Father agrees with you, we'll all know it. Until then, this is a church, not congress - so sit down! You can't petition for votes to get policies and practices changed. Protest all you want, our church guidelines do not come from men voted into positions of honor - they come from holy men called by a loving and trusting Heavenly Father. And our church will only make changes if Heavenly Father sees fit - and your picket line around temple square, abundant posts on social media, and blogs about why it's "unfair" that men are priesthood holders and women are not, will not make Heavenly Father think differently. Again - you have your priorities in the wrong place. Focus on strengthening and uplifting the church as it is. Change yourself before you try to change the church. Serve others and learn to love unconditionally. Spend your blogging, posting, tweeting, picketing time spreading the joy of redemption to a non-member. If you have all of this time on your hands pick up more sisters on your Visiting Teaching Route, write letters to the missionaries in your stake or from anywhere, or volunteer at your local Bishop's storehouse. Instead of trying to change one aspect of our church and focusing on "feminine equality", find your testimony - and strengthen it. Once you refocus yourself you'll see how silly this is. And how your plan to get back to Heavenly Father and live with Him eternally doesn't involve you having the Priesthood. He doesn't think it's necessary. YOU do. And this is HIS plan.

#reprioritizeladies.

It's True... Age is JUST a Number

Last night I saw a friend's updated FB status that said, "26 never felt so good". The following thoughts went through my mind: "I agree! I can't wait until 27! ....wait, or am I 27? No. I'm 26. ...Aren't I turning 27? No, I'll be 28. Crap!! UGH... I was born in '86... to '96 is 10, 2006 is 20, to 2007, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13... 27. I'm 27. Danggit. Virginia you gotta get it together."

It weighed on my mind all night. And still nagged me this morning. On the way to a special YSA meeting before Stake Conference I had the following thoughts in the car: "I can't believe I didn't know how old I was. That so embarrassing! But it's a good thing age is only a number. I mean, it does give you a head's up on how mature someone should be, but it doesn't really determine anything. And who cares really? 26? 27? 28? I'm still living an amazing life. But really though... who forgets their age?! I can't ever tell any one. Crap I already told Priscilla. Hmmm. Forget it. I'm 27. I know I'm 27. We just won't mention this... Let'ssssss listen to music...."

For you non-mormon readers YSA means Young Single Adults. We're non-married members of the LDS Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). Semi-annually we have Stake Conference. (Each Mormon is a member of a ward. This is the group we meet with weekly. 8-or-so wards are then grouped into Stakes with leaders over the whole stake. And stakes are grouped into regions. And world-wide our church is the same. For more information and answers go to Mormon.org.) During Stake Conference we get together as whole stake and share in the same messages.

This particular conference the YSA members of our stake were invited to a special YSA meeting. Our Stake President, President Hiatt, addressed us. He started off talking about interviewing 11-yr old children and their excitement to leave Primary (our children's program) to join the Young Men & Young Women programs (our youth programs). He talked about the excitement during interviews when the youth are 13 and 15 preparing to advance in YM & YW. He said beyond those years and the age cutoffs for serving a mission, we aren't bound by our age. He went on to talk about how important it is to "lift where we stand" and strengthen ourselves, those around us, and the church no matter where we are in our lives. He said it doesn't matter what age we are, because there is no magic age to graduate college, get married, advance in your career, or have children.  The most important part is that we are living the life Heavenly Father wants us to live. And we are becoming the people Heavenly Father wants us to become.

As President Hiatt spoke my eyes filled with tears. I knew Heavenly Father needed me to hear this message. Yes, I had already received the revelation that age is just a number (just this morning none-the-less), but I needed this message to help me apply it spiritually. I serve with the Young Women (ages 12-18) in our ward. I tell my girls all of the time how much they mean to Heavenly Father. I know I mean the world to Him too, and He loves me unconditionally. This I do not doubt! What I was doubting (even though buried deeply in the back of my heart and mind where I rarely choose to visit) was my uncertainty that I am truly where Heavenly Father wants me. Today I know I'm not only where He wants me, but I am where He needs me.

Yes, I am 27 (seriously.) and almost 28, and not married with children as I want myself to be, but Heavenly Father needs me to be 27 and single. And maybe 28 and single. And maybe 32 and single. It doesn't matter. As long as I become the daughter He knows I can be, and lift where I stand, then I'll receive the blessings He has in store.

Autumn is a Time of Change

A month ago I was driving from Greensboro to Raleigh and the leaves were just beginning to change. It was beautiful! I had this overwhelming feeling to enjoy every second of this fall because this could be my last in North Carolina. I'm getting older and feel as though a change is coming. I don't know when, or where to, or how, or why, or anything remotely reflective of a detail to this thought, but the thought is there. I'm asking all of you to keep me in your minds and thoughts and prayers as I take the necessary time to figure out where Heavenly Father wants, and needs, me. Maybe I'll stay in the city? Maybe I'll just move apartments? Maybe I'll only move to another city close by? But... Maybe I'll move to San Diego? Who knows! Right now though, I just want to enjoy every day and all of the beauty that surrounds me here!

Christian's Take on Me Being "Lonely"

Most people know I live for moments I get to spend with my nephews. I want to share with you one of my favorite stories from my week with them...

My sister and brother-in-law returned Thursday just in time to keep Jason home while I went to get Christian from school. I spend Wednesday night and Thursday morning telling the boys how much I was going to miss them when I leave and come back home. While in the car I reminded Christian that I didn't want to leave I really wanted to stay... here is our conversation:

Christian: You really need to get somebody to live with you.
Me: Why's that?
C: Because then you wouldn't be so lonely.
M: *chuckling* I'm not lonely, but I do have someone in mind that I want to live with me. I'm kind of working on it. Can you guess who it is?
C: *without missing a beat* Well it can't be me because I have to live with my mommy.
M: Nope, it's not you. Try again.
C: *without missing a beat* And it can't be my brother because he has to live with my mommy too!
M: *laughing* No no, it's not your brother. Think about it, who might Aunt Chrissy really want to live with her?
C: Ummmm.... Ummm... I'm Thinking... IS IT UNCLE BRON-BRON?!
M: *LAUGHING* Yup. That's what I was thinking.
C: *literally shaking his head and chuckling* I knew it! You have to work harder because you're so lonely.

We chuckled all the way home! And once again, I realized this little boy is too smart for his own good!